


I Feel Love

by LillithEvans



Category: NU'EST
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:41:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25911496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LillithEvans/pseuds/LillithEvans
Summary: After a series of failed relationships, Kang Dongho comes into work one Monday morning certain he will be #foreveralone literally f-o-r-e-v-e-r(rrrrrrr).He did not, however, consider that his keener (work)best friend will not let him stay that way and will take to fixing that problem himself.So, what do you call a problem like Hwang Minhyun standing in front of you - with a fully formatted project proposal, PowerPoint, and Gantt Chart - asking you to date him to prove to you that your heart is capable of love?
Relationships: Aaron Kwak | Aron/Choi Minki | Ren, Hwang Minhyun/Kang Dongho | Baekho, Kim Jonghyun | JR/Ong Seongwu, Lee Jihoon/Park Jihoon
Comments: 7
Kudos: 34
Collections: Nu'fics x The Parallel





	1. Good Morning, It's the End of My World

**Author's Note:**

> Quick disclaimer: This was partially inspired by the concept behind the social project '40 Days of Dating'

“Hi.”

It’s the most simple of greetings and yet as he releases the words out to the world to greet his friend, his friend looks back at him automatically depressed at the sound of his voice.

“Jesus Kang Dongho – “ Hwang Minhyun’s eyes are wide with surprise and only a hint of concern. “Why do you look like that?”

Ah, that’s where the concern is coming from.

Well, fine yes, he is very aware of just how shitty he looks but does Minhyun have to remind him of what he looks like?

It already took everything he had to just get out of bed. Look presentable though? Ha – the universe can hardly expect two miracles in a row out of him. “I don’t know what you mean.”

Minhyun narrows his gaze and pushes his swivel chair away from his desk, whipping around to face him full frontal clothed. “Let me guess – things aren’t working out with that new girl of yours, huh?” Minhyun hasn’t uttered so much as a name but the mere reminder of her is enough to have his chest choke and crumble inwards so he’s left whining for any semblance of oxygen to reach him.

A new emotion joins concern in Minhyun’s eyes – pity.

Great. Just great.

He – he doesn’t really want to be pathetic. Not really. But pathetic has been part of his identity for so long now that it feels hardly natural to fight himself.

“I really don’t know what you’re talking about.” He intended to speak with a snarl but because so little of his voice is left from last night where he spent the night crying at videos on her Instagram that he’d taken that – well – he doesn’t really have a voice anymore.

Just this hoarse, disgusting, guttural throat that scratches against itself every time he so much as opens his mouth. Maybe that’s why she left him. Maybe kissing him was like kissing sandpaper and being with him was nails on a chalkboard and –

“Whatever you need to hear to get through the day.” Minhyun claps one hand on his shoulder, the most comfort he can offer up at that particular moment for someone who’s not willing to part with their grief and that’s only fair.

What’s a little weird for him to see is that as Minhyun turns back to the excel sheet that’s no doubt consumed most of his morning from the looks of it – he can’t for the life of him figure out why Minhyun has the fucking widest smile on his face.

What an – asshole.

How could he be so happy to see him like this?!

He said he was fine though so he can’t call Minhyun out on his very rude reaction. So, he chooses instead to set his laptop bag down on his desk and looks around him. Their foursome cubicle set is a little bare as it has been for the last few weeks since Jonghyun left to start his own company so it’s not surprising but still – “Where’s Seongwoo?”

“Oh – you better stay out of his way looking the way you do.” He’d ask what the fuck that means but thankfully, Minhyun elaborates. “You think you’re sad? That guy had a meltdown this morning. The razor plant is having trouble with their machinery – and the supply didn’t build safety stock so – in another week they’re going to run out of product to supply the market. He’s not going to be able to deal with you.”

Okay, Minhyun still looks unreasonably happy which is making him feel a bit better. Maybe Minhyun’s just happy this morning despite the fact all of his friends’s lives are turning to absolute shit – “You know, you could try not to look so happy.”

“Oh, why?” Minhyun laughs harder at the screen, never quite looking at him. “I have a lot to be happy about.” Sure, Minhyun’s been trying to steal marketing budget from Seongwoo for months and now that Seongwoo’s plant’s not operational – well in another week or so all his marketing dollars will be up for grabs.

So he gets it. Minhyun does have a lot to be happy for professionally but it’s making him a really shit person to know personally. “Seongwoo must be really worried –“

“Yeah, well, his job is fine – and they’ll find the part in a couple of weeks and I’ll finally get the money I need to do what the exec team asked me to do. Everyone wins.” Actually, no – everyone doesn’t win. Some people lose. In fact, right now for some reason he feels like Minhyun’s hurting him even more than his ex-girlfriend which he’s sure is just an over-emotional reaction to something that has nothing to do with him or his relationship or even his job here – but Minhyun’s a dick. “Oh don’t look so sad – I just gave you good news! You should be happy! If you’re nice – I’ll let you take some of Seongwoo’s budget when we’re fighting for it in Kwon-nim’s office – “

“I’m really wondering whether you really even think of us as your friends, Minhyun.”

“Don’t be stupid.” The light from the computer makes Minhyun’s gaze feel particularly condescending. “Professional development should not be tied to personal relationships, Dongho-ya. That’s rule #1 of the corporate ladder, come on now – we’ve climbed enough together for me to know you already know that – “

“No, I must have specifically missed that detour you took on your way up to becoming an asshole – “

“Well, you never were good at paying attention during the leadership development training.”

“Still don’t know what they see in me –“

“Just be happy someone’s seeing something in you even if it wasn’t that girl – “ Minhyun’s only joking around but – but things are so new and hurt and raw that he can’t stop his eyes from burgeoning small springs of water from within and he sees horror cross Minhyun’s face for the first time this morning. In a flash, Minhyun uses his long legs to slide his chair over to him and place an arm around his shoulder. “Oh man, Dongho – this is bad. Look, just because that girl didn’t see it in you doesn’t mean you’re not great. The right person’s out there for sure –“ Minhyun proceeds to whack a hand on his shoulder as if he’s supposed to just choke out the pain like this is the Heimlich but that only makes more tears come to his eyes. “She did a number on you, huh?”

“It’s fine.” It’s not really fine and now Minhyun’s starting to look half irritated because this isn’t his first time walking through the Kang Dongho healing process. Minhyun’s used to hearing of his failed love stories with that ever foolish smile on his face and hell that’s probably the reason all of them are so close to each other. Ever present bonding at how bad he is at being someone important to someone else. Minhyun’s different though and he wishes he could be like him. Minhyun just doesn’t like letting anything bother him, choosing instead to always let the ugliness in the world slip off his blue pin-striped shirts. “It’s just – it’s what she said.”

He looks back up at Minhyun, who’s staring back at him, expectant, eyes wide and open and blank like they’re waiting for his story to fill their canvas. It’s a bit of a relief, honestly, that he still has someone to talk to here and that Minhyun isn’t sick of him already. “Come on – out with it, then”

He doesn’t need much more invitation so with one more deep breath sucked into his gut, he does his best to release the rush of words. “She said – she doesn’t think I’m capable of love.”

“WHAT THE –“Realizing they’re in the office, Minhyun quiets coming closer to his face. “Shit, man.” Minhyun hisses, voice echoing in the air like the sizzle of a heart on a frying pan which is what the muscle in his chest has felt like all morning since he woke up alone for the first time in a month. “She was harsh…that’s some trauma right there.”

He knows Minhyun means to help but somehow that’s not helping. “Yeah.” He blinks back up at the roof, willing every ounce of effort in his body to come and rescue the tear glands in his eyes because he can’t really be on the verge of crying at work.

It’s not his first time, sure, but this is even more pathetic than his usual grade of pathetic.

Man come on, whatever! So what if one woman said something horrible about him?! He doesn’t need to believe in it.

Her words only have as much weight to them as he allows them to have.

But then again – in their own way they’re constructive criticism and he’s always been good at taking criticism, that’s why he’s even where he is today at the company so –

There’s a knock against the right side of Seongwoo’s desk which also functions as the entry to the cubicle zone for all the senior business development manager desks – which just so happens to be what all of them are, five years after their admittance into the company’s leadership training program.

“Hwang-nim,” Both of them turn back to see Park Jihoon, hands folded neatly in front of his chest as he fixes his glasses and looks straight at Minhyun to avoid looking at him because it’s just that fucking obvious he’s been crying. “We have that meeting with the agency to discuss the amendment to the plan you called for this morning after the news of the razor plant?”

Viper. He’s already planning with the agency. “You need to give me time to come up with a plan. What if I wanted that money for my own media plan?”

“You have time!” Minhyun laughs. “I’ll give you exactly now till tomorrow. Come up with a better plan than Jihoon and I, and I’m sure Kwon Boa’s going to sign the company wallet off to Kang Dongho!”

“Hwang-nim –“

“Yeah yeah, a second Jihoon – I’ll be right there. Just start the meeting without me!”

Jihoon’s eyes bug out of his head because Minhyun’s a notorious micro manager who never lets his underlings do anything and being handed the opportunity to lead the call – he’s not sure what to do. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, yeah – you’re ready.” Minhyun waves a hand towards Jihoon, never looking at him and thus, remaining entirely oblivious to the spread of happiness he’s given his assistant business development manager.

Thankfully, Jihoon takes the opportunity anyways racing away from them to the meeting he’s booked and they’re left in the privacy of their small zone. “Is he really ready?”

“Jesus, no. I just had to figure this situation out before I left and I figured that’d give me enough time to talk through this with you.”

“You really need to learn how to delegate.”

“Sure, and you need to learn how to stop letting these break-ups completely destroy you?” Minhyun’s arm slides down his shoulder, a lingering hand giving him one last reassuring squeeze before slipping off. “Look, honestly – you dated that whats-her-name for all of five minutes.” Five months but, okay. He shouldn’t expect Minhyun to keep track of his relationship. Minhyun can hardly keep track of the time without Jihoon. “I’m going to go take my meeting now and then I’m in back-to-backs. We’ll talk more later but you – you should stop thinking these people you’ve dated for a couple of months mean anything in the grand scheme of things. They’re not meaningless but they’re not – as meaningful as you’re making them out to be in your head either and your sanity’s important, Dongho. Think of her as a – as a lesson! As long as you’ve walked away having learned something from that relationship – then you’re better for it and you don’t need to internalize every negative thing she said about you.”

“You’re right.” Of course he’s right. Minhyun’s always right. It’s why whenever something comes up in the company that needs a steady head – the execs put him on the job.

“Now, this is on the down low but I’m having a meeting with the agency right now to get them to book Kim Tae Hee for the next annual sponsorship and if that goes through – I promise I’ll bring you to all the shoots I have with her –“

He sniffles, wiping at his nose as he shoves one laughing Hwang in the side.

He’s not smiling yet but – at least he’s not crying again. “What if I hire her first?”

“Ah –“ He ponders this and puts one finger on his chin. “See, I just don’t think you’re that competitive but if you are then I’ll really fuck you up for stealing my idea. Besides, I don’t think she’s going to want to work on your hair care business. Isn’t your business declining?”

“Hey man! RUDE! Just because we’re not all running rapidly growing skincare brands! I’ll have you know that Lush and Lush is the number one shampoo in the country –“ Minhyun has stopped listening because he has to run to his meeting and is honestly already late.

As Minhyun leaves him, the sadness settles into him a little more as he sighs into his chair and looks around him.

Honestly, sometimes he wonders how he even got here. This isn’t at all where he thought he’d end up.

Though to be fair, he didn’t really ever know where he’d end up. Not that working here has been bad for him – in fact working for Trenton Holdings has been one of the best parts of his life because he had the chance to meet Minhyun and Seongwoo and Jonghyun and he’d always needed more normal friends than international modelling sensation Choi Minki (and his default friend Minki’s American boyfriend Aaron).

Still – the fact remains that where he is feels like an accidental success. Like everything in his life.

Nothing ever turns out successful when he actually puts effort in. Nothing.

Once upon a time Kang Dongho went to school with an undecided major. There he showed an aptitude for boring classes he never really cared to attempt properly and somehow ended up qualifying to graduate with a business major that he didn’t sign up for.

At an alumni event that he mostly attended for the free food, he ended up passionately speaking to some guy about analytics and how ineffectively most people used them and ended up getting a one-way ticket into a graduate program at Trenton.

And now here is, close to six years later with many of those same compatriots from that program by his side like Seongwoo and Minhyun. All of them are each other’s competition still but to him that’s never mattered.

The only reason he’s here doing this gig is because they’re still here.

Maybe if Trenton ever lets him go – he’ll try something more creative.

Like maybe he’ll write music or something –

Sure – he isn’t capable right now – but he could learn – just like he could maybe learn to lov- “I have been here for five minutes now just waiting for you to notice me and at first this was funny but now it is just inefficient – is your brain functioning?”

He jumps in his seat and turns around to see Jihoon.

To be specific, Lee Jihoon more commonly known as Jihoon #2. “Huh?”

“Right, then – brain definitely not functioning.” Where Minhyun doesn’t give his Jihoon any responsibility – he is kind of the opposite. In fact, honestly Lee Jihoon is just the type of capable that can run this entire company by himself for a week if really required (after a week he’ll blow up and take an indefinite hiatus but he could do it for a week!). For now though, his Jihoon is occupied with glaring at him and this time when his mouth opens, his assistant business development manager sounds practically disgusted with him –“Kang Dongho-nim, have you been crying?”

Well, that’s not very fair! When someone says the word it just makes you want to cry all over again! “Jihoon-ah, how was your weekend?”

Because the words are coupled with sobs, Jihoon groans. “Let me guess – another break-up? That – it’s that girl right?! The one I saw you taking pictures with at the mall that one time?! That girl you didn’t bring to the bar on Friday because you didn’t want us to mess things up for you this time?”

He doesn’t look back at Jihoon’s deducing voice because what’s the point of telling Jihoon that he’s right about everything, the way a mini Minhyun in the making will always be right? “Did you see?” He chokes out, lips wavering as he turns to bring up his shipment report. “New data dropped in the morning and the shampoo category is finally up almost 10% driven 23% by L&L-“

Jihoon smacks one hand down on his desk with the reports he’s about to ask him to prepare because Jihoon is that sort of person. “Stop crying.”

“I’m not – “ He hiccups. “I’m not crying.”

He is definitely crying. Jihoon doesn’t take a lot of pity on him but he does let out a wistful sort of sigh – the type parents do with their children. “Have you eaten anything?”

He looks up at Jihoon with a slight shake of his head and Jihoon begins to mimic the motion, unconsciously perhaps, but with a lot more fury. “No wonder you’re so emotional! Everyone knows when your blood sugar gets low you lose all energy and start getting overly emotional. Come on, up with you boss-nim. Let’s get some food in you.”

After grabbing food, the rest of his Monday proves to be easy enough to work through. They don’t have a direct boss managing them since Kahi left their team so it’s been a bit more relaxed in the beauty division compared to some of the other groups at Trenton…and he’s really looking forward to just going home to be miserable.

He starts bringing his things together when a voice comes out at him from behind –“You piece of shit.”

There is only one person in this office who calls him that. “Seongwoo, what?! I’m not in the mood.”

Seongwoo is offended that he is not in the mood. “You’re not thinking of going home, are you? That would make you a piece of shit.”

He groans and turns to look at Seongwoo who does indeed look even worse than him which is fair. He heard the news from Minhyun on messenger earlier because Minhyun’s the kind of sneak that gets information he’s not supposed to have. Seongwoo’s razor line is not operational for the next five weeks – and that’s the best case scenario if the technicians from Australia get here in the next day or so to fix the machines so – that’s not going to happen.

“I’m tired.”

“No, bitch you want to go mope. Hwang told me your girl broke your heart – “ Oh, Minhyun’s the real bitch here but he knows better than to open that can of worms with Seongwoo. “What was this one’s name again? Seulgi?” No. Seulgi was right before and honestly – he’d have left him for Bae Joo Hyun too so sure he was sad about that one but – at least it made sense. He did everything right with -“Come on – you’re not going to go let me drink alone, are you?”

“Who said you’re drinking alone? Hwang’s going with you –“

“You and I both know that asshole doesn’t drink. He just sits there and looks at you like some sort of Troll doll.” Minhyun is hardly a troll. He is - at best - a worn-out Ken doll. “Come on – up, I already texted Choi Minki to join us there and I already told him all about your break-up–“

“You know – for once – I’d wish you guys would remember that you know each other through me?”

“Yeah honey, sure but honestly – Minki and I are closer friends now.” Seongwoo pats him on the shoulder. “Don’t look so forlorn! You have Minhyun, don’t you?”

He glares at Seongwoo, because they both know Minhyun and Minki are not even remotely the same person. “Look, even more reason to leave me alone then! I’m just like Minhyun – I don’t even drink that much either and Minki drinks like a fish –“

“Okay, let’s put it this way –“ Seongwoo spins around on his chair, and faces him with his fingers joined in a fist that looks like it’s half a prayer. “Hwang Minhyun is very very happy that my business is in a shit pile and I am the real asshole here because all I want to do is punch Minhyun every time I see him. You know - he barged into my production meeting to speak with Boa and present a plan to her?! Like, seriously man? Let the issue cool down for a hot ass second – “

As much as he agrees with Seongwoo, he knows why Minhyun’s doing it. From all of their businesses, Minhyun has the least amount of funds. “You can’t blame him, you know? He’s on the newest business and he has barely enough money to support it because the two of us have the biggest businesses and we suck it all up –“

“Yeah, well – he’s the one who decided to work on Epiphany to prove himself and he doesn’t have to do it on my back.” Seongwoo grumbles.

True. “Yeah, well – “ He huffs. “Really Seongwoo, what the hell are you going to promote if there’s no supply on the shelves? Let him have some of the funds and just go drink with Minki.”

Unable to find a decent enough argument to defend his dollars from shifting to Minhyun’s business, Seongwoo decides to focus on the other part of his sentence. “Like you said – Minki is your best friend, not ours. I’m sure Minki won’t come if you’re not there.”

“You change your tune based on what you want, huh? Minki likes you guys – trust me he’ll come.” Seongwoo looks at him skeptically, but it’s true. Minki enjoys exactly how mundane their lives are which he can’t fault him for as someone who lives among the stars. Minki just doesn’t have the time to live an ordinary life himself so when he gets to participate in his all too ordinary life – it brings Minki joy. “Okay, fine. I’ll come for one drink.”

“Atta man.” Seongwoo shoves his laptop into a bag just as Minhyun walks back into the cubicle zone with the widest smile on his face and they all realize instinctively what’s happened. “They gave it to you, huh?”

“I promise, I’ll make it back to give it back?” Minhyun grins back at Seongwoo unable to stop the happiness on his face even if he knows it’s going to piss Seongwoo off.

“Yeah, yeah – because you’re so close to Mr.Smithers and have weekly meetings with the Perth office –“ Hwang rolls his eyes and comes over to his desk . “Come on, we’re going to go celebrate.”

At this, Hwang looks confused. “What’s there to celebrate?”

“Your eventual promotion to Kahi’s role as our boss – “ He turns to look at Seongwoo in shock, jaw dropped on the floor as Minhyun turns back to look at Seongwoo with a very different, very irritating expression. “Oh come on, Dongho – you really didn’t figure it out? What do you think Minhyun was doing in that meeting with the general manager for the last forty five minutes? Waxing poetic about his desire for thicker eyebrows?”

“As someone who’s been on the edge of pre-mature balding for years Seongwoo – I don’t think you should judge me for that.”

“HEY – who you calling baldy, eyebrow baldy!”

Minhyun acknowledges the insult with a roll of his eyes but otherwise remains silent.

Which means it’s true...Minhyun really wants to be their boss?

It’s the first time one of them has tried to – overtake the others. “Minhyun, you’re – you’re really going to be our boss?”

Seongwoo scoffs and shakes his head furiously. “If Hwang Minhyun becomes my boss – I’m quitting and going to work at Jonghyun’s start-up.” Hwang doesn’t answer him but does offer up a tight inexpressive pucker of his lips that really shouldn’t be remotely appealing given the context behind that expression. Whatever it is Minhyun spoke to their general manager Han Sung Soon about, it was going to remain confidential. “Now, are you both coming to the bar or not?”

He watches as Minhyun and Seongwoo size each other up and finds himself groaning again.

Another day. Another Cold War.

This isn’t all that new either. Both of them have egos the size of planets and with the close proximity of their cubicles and individual roles and businesses Minhyun and Seongwoo are practically bound legally to collide at least three times a day.

Minhyun chooses to disregard Seongwoo’s invite for now because he’s upset with him, which only further solidifies his suspicion that Minhyun really doesn’t want him to know anything about his application to become their (and his) boss. 

But before he can ponder it more, Minhyun shoves his laptop into his bag, and wraps his arms around him. “Come on then, Beauty and the Beast – let’s go heal your heart.”

“Don’t be so rude – Dongho may be hairy –“

“EXCUSE YOU!” Minhyun whips around, happy to have an excuse to say something mean to Seongwoo. “You’re the beast Seongwoo – Dongho’s my beauty.” Despite the fact, he’s only doing this to irritate Seongwoo, something about hearing that out of Minhyun’s mouth makes the back of his neck burn enough that he ducks out from under his grasp. “Sorry, sorry Dongho – just wanted to get on his nerves because he’s being extra touchy today.”

Yeah, well – there’s no reason to use him for it. He’s a little extra touchy today too.

Though he’d be lying if he said he didn’t feel any better after seeing them all.

Seeing his friends always made him feel better. “It’s been a rough day for him, Minhyun – be nice. He’s giving you money.”

“It’s been a rough day for you too, someone told you that you’re not capable of love.” And just like that, the reminder of this weekend comes straight back for him and leaves him feeling hollow as he looks back at Minhyun who doesn’t appear to have realized what he’s said. “But you’re not acting like a pompous dick.”

He’d love to be a pompous dick actually but he’s just not sure he’ll ever be able to authentically carry off that level of confidence.

The one good thing about having Minhyun come with them on their drinking adventures is that Minhyun is always the DD and because Minhyun can be irritatingly perfect, he also never complains about that fact.

He just lets them all drink like fishes, possibly silently judging them for foolish words and their lowered inhibitions and on occasion taking snapchats of them doing stupid shit but it’s a small price to pay for safe rides home so most of them let him have his fun.

Three drinks in and none of that changes. Just as Seongwoo had predicted earlier, Minhyun just sits there – ever encouraging in his silence as he continues to spill his tale.

“So I finished cooking her this wonderful homemade dinner – like I went out and got steaks at Namdaemun because I know how much she loves the meat from this one stall and then I sit her down at the table in front of me with the candles all there around us because I wanted to make the night special for some stupid reason and she just suddenly blurts out that she doesn’t want to be together anymore!” The table is quiet. Mostly because no one really knows what to say so he continues after a quick gulp of beer to quell the ball of anxiety in his throat. “And finally – then she says she doesn’t see a future with someone like me because she doesn’t think I’m capable of real love.”

This new revelation has not had the table fight for who gets to speak first and this sad silence only makes him feel worse so he takes another large gulp of beer.

Ong swallows a gulp of his beer and looks back at his boyfriend who’s joined them. “Is that not the saddest fucking shit you’ve heard of?”

Kim Jonghyun, who Ong somehow convinced to date him once upon an hour, lays one reassuring hand over his. “I’m sorry to hear that Dongho…but you shouldn’t let that burrow in you and become a truth in itself. Reflect, but don’t – let it take over, okay?”

“Thanks Jonghyun,” He bows his head gratefully. “That’s the first helpful thing I’ve heard all day –“

“HEY –“ Minhyun frowns as he looks at him. “I basically said the same shit this morning.”

“Oh, really?” He frowns as he looks back at him with an equally blank expression. “I guess I wasn’t listening. Though as my best friend you should know that about me.”

“You know Dongho, I really wish you’d start clarifying that these are your work friends.” Minki rolls his eyes from across the table. “Minhyun is hardly anyone’s best friend – he cares so much about himself.”

This causes a series of laughs around the table from everyone except Minhyun who looks pissed. “At least I’m there for him when he needs me – ”

Minki glares down at him but doesn’t say anything else as he takes a sip of his vodka.

“Man, I think Dongho’s one of the luckiest guys ever.” Aron smiles at the table, a little out of place like he usually is. Which is fair – he’s only been around them full time for the last month or so since Minki’s settled into a more normal routine. “You’ll get out of this man – and hey! I have a sister, do you want to get introduced? Maybe meeting someone else might be good for you?”

“I have a sister too!” Jonghyun blurts out.

“I have a sister too but – I don’t think you’d be a good fit for her, honestly.” Minhyun clears his throat. “She might eat you alive. You should really – try something a little more safe I think –”

Minki narrows his eyes. “What does that mean?”

Minhyun shrugs but doesn’t respond to Minki otherwise.

If in the office, Minhyun and Seongwoo are sworn enemies then on the outside, it’s always been Minki and Minhyun who are enemies.

He has a feeling it’s because the two of them are both unreasonably attractive but he’s not going to get involved in their pissing contest. As strange as it is, he appreciates his friends’ desperate attempt to make things better. “Thanks guys, but I’m not really in the mood to date any – sisters for now. Think Minhyun’s right and I should just stay safe and by myself.”

“I don’t think that’s what Minhyun meant –“

“And how would you know what I meant?”

Now, Minki chooses to shrug and turn back to look at Aron for support. “Well, I’d date Dongho in a heartbeat. Aron, wouldn’t you date Dongho?”

Unsure of how he’s supposed to respond to his boyfriend professing love for another man Aron looks around the table confused but finding no support from the rest of them for Minki’s antics decides to do the safe thing. “Of course baby, I’d date your best friend any day –“

Minki rolls his eyes at the soft tone of sarcasm in Aron's voice but pecks his cheek. “See! You have your pick of the litter, Dongho.”

“You guys are great – really but – I think we should let you guys stay together.” Seongwoo clears his throat, sitting a little taller. “I think Dongho would obviously choose to date only one person at this table.”

“I really – wouldn’t date you, Seongwoo – you’re high maintenance.” Immediately from his side, Minhyun bursts out laughing, throwing a hand his way which he obliges with the silent request for a high five. “Now Jonghyun on the other hand –“

“Sorry, friend - this dock is recently occupied.” Jonghyun smiles brightly. “But if you weren’t such a slob Dongho – definitely.”

Because a Seongwoo in love is a Seongwoo possessive, he pouts at Jonghyun’s pathetic attempt to pacify him. “I’m literally sitting right here -”

“You volunteered to date Dongho first, Seongwoo –”

“No I DIDN’T! I said Dongho would want to date me! I WOULD NEVER DATE HIM – ”

“As someone who knows you for the past six years and has recently started dating you for a reason I’m still not sure of - I know you’re saying that because he rejected you for being high maintenance.”

“Guys thank you but can we stop now, this is really doing wonders for my self-esteem –“ He laughs, feeling a strange tickle form in his throat as he catches Minhyun glued to his phone.

It isn’t like – he expects Minhyun to suddenly proclaim to want to date him. Minhyun’s the only single one here so it would make sense that he’s more uncomfortable about saying something. Besides, it’s not like he’d take him up on it or anything.

Still, as a friend, it’d be nice for Minhyun to just to kind of round out the table and acknowledge that he’d at least consider him just to not make him feel like there’s another obvious rejection at his doorstep.

He’s about ready to change the topic just for that reason but Choi Minki is not. “Hwang Minhyun?”

Minhyun’s eyes glance up from the phone to look at Minki with a bit more exhaustion before turning back to the screen. “Yes?”

“Aren’t you going to profess your undying love for my best friend now?”

He does lift his head a little bit from where it’s hunched over, curious as to how Minhyun will respond if only to know that he isn’t being rejected by him too.

Somehow the idea of that feels worse because it’s from Minhyun and he’d never admit it out loud but – he does admire him. Minhyun’s the type of head strong, stubbornly perfect person he’d love to be some day and so along the way he couldn’t help but start valuing Minhyun’s opinion on - well - everything. 

That’s probably another reason they’re best friends now (no matter what Minki says), Minhyun loves being heard and he loves hearing him.

“If that’s what Dongho needs to feel better, why would I not?” Minhyun doesn’t look back at his phone this time but he does narrow his gaze in at Minki like he’s trying to find malicious intent. Minhyun turns to look at him, voice practically robotic – “I love you, Dongho.”

The words aren’t cruel. Not really.

Minhyun’s just doing what’s asked and he hardly expects the emotion to be genuine but –

The words leave a bitter taste in his mouth anyways.

Somewhere along the night, drinks turn into dancing, dancing turns into him feeling alone as he sees Aron and Minki look at each other with all the love of a long-term couple and Seongwoo and Jonghyun look at each other with all the other feelings less long couples feel.

So he comes back to the booth to sit, which suits him just fine because the bar’s dance floor is sticky and it was kind of irritating to jump up and down on glue.

Besides, now that his friends are finally occupied with each other he has the space he needs to mope. He burrows his head into the table, arms coming over the crown of his head as he groans into the wood.

He must be doing something wrong. That’s the only explanation why he can’t seem to – cross this imaginary hurdle that every person’s put forward before him.

Is it him? Is he broken? Is he that unlovable? Is that what she meant?

Even Minhyun – with his false proclamation only made him feel all the more unlovable –

“You’re still in the mood to sulk then?”

Speak of the devil.

He doesn’t make a move to shift his head off the table but his eyes do glance up at Minhyun, and Minhyun’s normally gargantuan height is only all the more intimidating from his current lowered position.

Minhyun looks back at him, one impatient eyebrow rising on his face because he hasn’t really answered Minhyun’s question.

He doesn’t really want to either.

Minhyun doesn’t love him.

Which is fine! Of course, Minhyun doesn’t need to love him!

Still right now, when it feels like no one will ever love him and he’ll never love anyone, the idea of someone else not loving him is a bit hard to stomach. Can’t Minhyun just leave him alone? “Yeah, sorry I’m just not in the mood to –“ He looks back to the dance floor where somehow half of Ong’s shirt has come undone and Jonghyun’s using the loose parts of it to pull him away from Aron and Minki who are pointing at them and giggling. “Do any of that.”

“Didn’t know someone had asked you to be in the mood to lick Ong –“ It’s a joke but Minhyun’s voice is so monotonous and lacking humor that he groans and shoves his head back into his arms. “Oh come on Dongho, were you even together that long?! You haven’t even said her name once today, you know!?”

“That’s the point! I don’t want to – think about her.”

“Yeah, fine - but how much is that helping?”

“That’s not the point!” He’s not really sure what the point is because Minhyun’s right. By no measures was he as emotionally attached to his girlfriend as he should have been to be this upset – but who is Minhyun to say anything?! He can’t recall the last time he heard Minhyun mentioning dating anyone so how can he ask him to react better anyways? Minhyun doesn’t even know anything about relationships and probably isn’t capable of love either. “Minhyun, how come I’ve never seen you with anyone?”

“Because I have one goal, Dongho and I put every ounce of my effort into that goal and ignore all distractions till I get where I need to go.” It’s a remarkably logical statement. Like everything about Minhyun, this just makes him all the more respectable that he’s able to stick to his guns and hold himself back from other temptations. “I have at least another two years before I focus on anything other than my career.”

For him as they all grow older it’s been getting harder to care about his career – more than anything he finds the entire ordeal of a ‘career’ a bit exhausting.

“So, what do you do when you need –“ Minhyun smirks and he ducks his head back down somehow already ashamed of what he’d been about to say for no reason at all. He has sex. Minhyun gets laid too once in a while he’s sure - that’s usually when he’s extra confident in meetings. He’s just also realizing that Minhyun has never talked about his sex life which six years later feels like something he as a best friend ought to have known more about. Maybe that’s why Minhyun doesn’t love him. “Okay, well honestly on my part, I – I always feel lost without someone. I like being with someone. I like knowing someone’s waiting for me and I like waking up, feeling something warm against me and I like kissing smiles and –“

Minhyun makes a noise but the man has the decency to cover his mouth so no one else can see him laughing.

As much as he loves the guy - he’s starting to understand why Seongwoo wants to punch Minhyun all the time. “Oh, Dongho. You have such a – rose coloured view of that shit.”

“A rose coloured view?”

“Yeah,” Minhyun drops his hands in his lap, a kinder smile playing on his features. “You make it sound so easy.”

“It’s supposed to be easy.” He argues back.

“I didn’t say that it wasn’t supposed to be easy but I think your view of it is a little too – juvenile, honestly.”

“Really? For someone who doesn’t date a lot of people can I say your view may be a little inaccurate?”

“We live south of the border so yeah, you can say whatever you want.” Minhyun never puts down his phone, fingers still tapping away on the screen and just with that look of concentration on his face, he knows Minhyun’s emailing the executive team. “Being with someone Dongho means more than kissing smiles in the morning. It means frustration, giving up portions of yourself to welcome parts of them into your life and that’s not always the easiest exercise. It’s why I don’t bother – I’m too busy loving myself to think of giving away any of me to someone else.”

Huh? “What does that mean?”

Minhyun clears his throat, a tick behind his breath like he’s trying to figure out how to break down what he means in the best way possible to get him to understand. “Did you give her something?”

“Like an STD?”

That earns him a look through white light Minhyun’s company phone is emitting over his face like an upward facing halo. He’s smirking again, obviously having found some satisfaction in him. “No, like – you. A part of you Dongho.”

“Like an arm?”

“Like your heart, you dumbass.” Minhyun elaborates, smirk twisting into something more genuine as he puts his phone away. With his hands folded in front of him like that, Minhyun looks sagely – like a monk who’s meditated on the top of Mount Everest for the past ten years on the topic of love instead of a power hungry business man.

“What does that look like?”

“Like offering up a truth, a weakness, a catalyst to your unraveling that only that one person holds – “

All of this sounds like bullshit Minhyun made up in his head to make him feel better but it’s not doing a very good job. “What is it that I’m feeling, if not an unraveling?”

“I’m not sure.” Minhyun lifts his hands off the table like he doesn’t want to get shot for bringing this up. “But I don’t think I’ve heard you say you miss her – all you keep saying is that you’re upset about why she left you. Not that she actually did it.” The words hit him like a wall of bricks as he glances up at Minhyun with a surprised look in his eyes. “Look, not that I’m saying that mitigates any of how you’re feeling but maybe you need a little introspection there to realize that her leaving you wasn’t such a bad thing if you couldn’t trust her with that.”

God, this all sounds so confusing – “With what, Minhyun? What is this special thing I’m supposed to have given her that I didn’t?”

“You, man. You’re supposed to give her you.” Okay, honestly – how can someone who doesn’t date around at all know anything about his situation?! He buries his head back down in his arms like an ostrich determined to avoid this situation entirely. “Dongho –“

“Dongho, what?! You don’t even know what you’re talking about.” He mumbles back, only vaguely aware of how Minhyun’s fingers are close to his chin, careful in their approach as his head is tilted up to look at something softer in Minhyun’s face that he’s not sure he’s ever seen there before.

“Hey, just because I haven’t dated anyone doesn’t mean I don’t know what love is supposed to feel like.” Somehow he feels infinitely smaller than Minhyun at this very moment, like an idiot throwing a tantrum that made absolutely no sense – but Minhyun’s still a monk and wearing the look of patience with him for now. “You’ve really never been in love before or felt that way?”

“No, okay – fine. I’ve really never felt that.”

“No wonder, you’re taking what she said so badly!”

“You piece of shit.” The emotion on his face crosses into something harder, more brisk and in retaliation, Minhyun’s fingers tighten over his chin, the pressure sinking into his throat with just the smallest hint of pain. “Are you happy now you sick sadistic bastard?! Fine, I’ll never really feel any love for an-“

He stops speaking because he sees it again.

That smile. The one from this morning.

In his drunken haze though, it becomes a bit clearer that Minhyun’s smile isn’t at his sadness – it’s for him.

"Dongho -" Just him. “Do you want to?”

“What?”

The smile parts open, wide and inviting like sitting by a fireplace – or is that heat he’s feeling from Minhyun’s hands on his face? “Do you want to feel love?”


	2. Look, My Feels Are Out!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slightly shorter but I hope you'll love it!

“Do you want to?”

“What?”

The smile parts open, wide and inviting like sitting by a fireplace – or is that heat he’s feeling from Minhyun’s hands on his face – “Feel love?”

For the longest breath of his life – there is only silence and space.

Space enough for his liquor addled brain to grow more addled by the question Minhyun’s posed him. There is no answer that allows him to maintain his dignity if this is some kind of joke.

Answering yes is admitting a weakness and saying no would be nothing short of a lie.

Black and white aren’t answers he can give up to his best friend so he offers something a little more gray and bitter – “Why? Are you a genie that can magically make me fall in love for the first time?”

“No. I’m no miracle worker.” Minhyun laughs. Minhyun’s hands are still on his face and if he tilts his head just so he can feel the vibrations from the laughs sinking into his cheek. “But I don’t mind seeing what’s so wrong with you.”

His eyes blink back and forth. That’s unreasonably cruel. He’s not looking to sign up to have someone else tell him what he already knows but won’t admit.

It would devastate him to hear that he’s broken from Minhyun. “What do you mean?”

“Look, we’re friends right?” Minhyun’s looking at him like this is an easy question to answer but – it isn’t.

Usually, yes. He would say Minhyun is one of his closest friends but right now his closest friend is cradling his cheek in his palm, speaking with some cruel connotation he doesn’t wish to acknowledge and so – now – he certainly doesn’t want to make that arrogant assumption that they are friends when maybe Minhyun’s never seen them that way.

His silence is answer enough for Minhyun. “You too drunk to speak?”

“No.” The bite’s out of his mouth before he can control it so to stop himself from saying something else stupid he bites his lips down hard, the sensation of peeled skin on rolled lips hitting his teeth.

“Then – come on, guy. Just say we’re friends –“

“Fine, fine – we’re friends but you’re holding my cheek.” Minhyun’s expression changes from goading to bemused as he looks at him for an explanation. “Look man, none of my other friends are holding my cheek – and you haven’t let go. It’s been uncomfortably long – like at least twenty minutes – “

“Dongho – it’s been two minutes.”

“Yeah, well – it feels like twenty and you have to admit this isn’t the most traditional sense to express friendship. No one’s ever held my face like this –“

“What a waste,” Minhyun snickers, the other hand coming over the other side of his face till he feels like the filling of a sandwich in Minhyun’s palms with his cheeks squished inwards. “It’s the perfect size to just kind of – grab in your hand.”

“Thank you?” He snuffs out. “So what does us being friends mean?”

Minhyun’s hands squish in harder, like he’s playing with a toy instead of a real live human being who is finding it very hard to breathe because his nostrils are getting smushed into his nose. “It means that we have a base, Dongho. It means there’s already a deep understanding we have of each other that we appreciate about each other – it means that the sound of your voice doesn’t irritate the living daylights out of me and neither does your face and I’m hoping that’s vice versa.”

“I’m not sure about that –“

“Oh shut up, I know how good looking you think I am – it’s half the reason you don’t bring girls to meet us when we go out as a group.” He hisses in his direction, which only makes Minhyun smile harder. “It’s not like I ask them to pay attention to me – “

“Yeah, well it’s not like you don’t respond when they do.” He grumbles. “My head is hurting now and I want to go to bed and I don’t care about what us having a ‘base’ really means – “

But Minhyun’s not done, in fact he’s even more enlivened. “It means we get a head start.” His jaws slacks in his hand and he feels Minhyun’s thumbs duck underneath, slowly pulling it up. “Most friendships have a base, it’s the great thing about friendship…and it doesn’t have to turn into something else. It often doesn’t for most people and sometimes even if it does – it doesn’t work perfectly because being a friend and being something else is not – the same thing. But it’s there Dongho…you and I have a base.” He’s starting to get an idea of where this is going but the horror on his face is doing nothing to stop Minhyun’s mouth from moving. “What do you look so terrified of?”

He’s not Minhyun. For him, poetry comes after long winded hours slaving over words praying for them to speak to him. Without hours, all he has is – “I don’t want to ‘date’ you.”

For someone who is being rejected, Minhyun should not look so happy. “Yeah, don’t worry. The feeling is entirely mutual. That’s what makes this great.”

“In what universe does neither of us actually wanting to ‘date’ each other – make this great?” Oh, wait of course! “Did Minki put you up to this? Is he paying you? What are you suggesting we do then if it isn’t date?”

“Suggesting?” Minhyun’s pretending to be innocent but he knows Minhyun a bit too well for that sort of ploy to work on him.

“You know what you’re suggesting –“

“Why don’t you put it into words for me since you have such a good idea of it yourself then?”

Smarmy piece of shit. “You’re suggesting that we – date but date is really like – you know – another word for another –“

His words stop there because Minhyun’s laughing beyond himself and this is really embarrassing. “No, that’s not what I’m ‘suggesting’ at all – because I told you. I’m not ready to have that with anyone.” Oh…Minhyun thought he was talking about a relationship. Well, best not to correct him then. “Look, don’t tell Seongwoo this but I need to get this job Dongho and I can’t exactly go around having a real relationship with prospective employees –”

For a second, he’s going to just focus on being Dongho – Minhyun’s co-worker because the definition for ‘friend’ is getting a little too loose. “So you really are trying this then – being our boss?”

“If everything goes well with the new Epiphany campaign and I manage to get it to a billion won in sales in the next month, then yeah.” His eyes bug out of his head. Billion won brands aren’t built in a day and Epiphany barely has distribution at like 20% of the Artiaum stores. Sure, if anyone’s up for that challenge it’s Minhyun but he finds it quite impossible to envision that being a successful endeavor at all. “But just because I’m not ready to be in a relationship – doesn’t mean I’m not interested in one.”

“I’m very lost.”

“Yes, because you have trouble reading between lines and need things spelled out for you in very clear terms or you get lost in what their meanings are. Look, my problem is simple with what’s going on here. I, Hwang Minhyun, cannot hear you, Kang Dongho, say things like you’re not capable of love because even just as your friend, I can tell you that you are.”

Wait.

So Minhyun doesn’t think he’s broken?

He’s spent so long staring after him, dumbly that it’s only the light caress of Minhyun’s thumb on the underside of his jaw that makes his eyes flare up to meet Minhyun’s. “You want to know how I know?”

He doesn’t really answer this question either.

But he does move his head slightly in the motion of a nod and Minhyun’s face breaks into the softest smile he’s ever seen, hands unceasing in their dance on his skin. “Kang Dongho, you were there for me when I made that demand planning forecast problem that almost lost me my job and without so much as a word of complaint or blackmail – you just fixed it. You showed up to my old house three weeks before I had to leave it just because you thought I needed help packing and you didn’t complain once even when your back was out for a week after and you’re – you. You’re so kind to a fault if a little short-sighted and dumb sometimes – “

He’s not sure what this is but he gets the feeling he’s not supposed to disrupt Minhyun and yet greedy as his mind is – he wants to understand what it is Minhyun is suggesting they do ‘together’ if it isn’t a date and it isn’t a relationship – “So, what then does any of that actually mean?”

“I’m suggesting – an experiment.” This time all the airs of the Minhyun who sits across from him in a cubicle come across – spine straight like he’s the receiver of a well thought out presentation. “Knowing what we know about each other, knowing that we get along and that we’re close – I think if anyone in your life is equipped to show you that you are capable of love, it’s me.”

“I’ve known Minki longer.”

“I’m more attractive and Aron does exist you know - have a little heart for the guy who just moved across the world to be with your best friend.”

“Yeah okay but if we’re doing this then – technically I’m more attracted to – “

He doesn’t get to finish that sentence because Minhyun rolls his eyes. “Not worth it. He showers once every three days –“

“Yeah, that’s the problem – not the fact that he has a boyfriend?”

“Jonghyun will realize he’s settled for less, eventually but until then Ong lucked out.” Minhyun sounds miffed, and that’s not something he expected to hear from Minhyun’s voice. It’s not something he even realized Minhyun felt. “So, what do you say?”

He’s not going to lie. The prospect of the experiment isn’t so unappealing and Minhyun’s not wrong – it’d be much harder to conduct with anyone other than – well someone he’s insanely close to and Minhyun seems to be his only option. “What would it entail?”

“For lack of a better word – a ‘partnership’.”

“You mean a ‘relationship’.”

“Call it what you will - but with guardrails and rules since we’re trying to incite a strong emotional reaction from you.”

“And what – you walk away scot free? Isn’t that a little cruel to me? We’re putting me in a position to get my heart broken? You’re basically asking me to fall in love with you – while you stay nice and safe in your little experiment cage – ”

“Look, man – are we getting into the semantics of this now, all we want to know is if you’re capable and I’m sure you’ll realize that before you’re too far down the path of full fledged heartbreak.” Being on the receiving end of his narrowed gaze, Minhyun quickly launches into plan B to convince him to do this. “I mean – don’t you want to know? If she’s right? Isn’t that the point above all else? Also, I’m appreciating the confidence that you will definitely be head over heels for me –“

“Shut the fuck up – there’s like – absolutely no chance of that.”

“I wouldn’t say ‘no’ chance.”

He pretends to agree – “I’ll let you know when I run the statistical probabilities later tomorrow.” Minhyun bursts out laughing because he’s ended his sentence with his middle finger in the air as the ultimate exclamation mark. “What? Can you stop laughing?! This is serious!”

“Nothing, you’re cute when you flip me off – like a very angry huffy puppy.”

“Oh, don’t you – don’t you get started with me already.”

“Why not? You’re enjoying it. You’re smiling –“ When the FUCK did that happen?! “So, come on what do you say?”

“What kind of guardrails were you thinking of?”

“A time limit seems fair. Like you said, I don’t want to break your heart and I certainly don’t want to have mine broken or have you compromising my goals – so let’s say thirty days? After that, we can just shut it down and evaluate if you were able to feel your heart significantly shift in emotion during your relationship with me versus others. We can set up some rules around how frequently we meet and stuff too –“

“Sorry to break it to you – but we really meet every day at the office –“

“Yes, but we don’t ever meet with the intention of ‘being’ with each other like that.” He whips his phone back out to quickly type something and not a second later, Dongho’s own phone rings with a notification and he looks down in shock.

Project LMFAO Kick-Off, scheduled for 7:30AM tomorrow – “This is really early considering where we are and this is a shit project name–“

“Well, I have shit to do tomorrow so you can come up with a better name. You should really be more understanding as a boyfriend man –“ He glares back at Minhyun.

“I’m not your boyfriend yet –“

“Ah, so you will be?” Minhyun giggles all to himself which makes his ultra-cool handsome best friend look like a complete loser. “This is good, I needed something fun to work on while I work myself to the bone on Epiphany anyways – you’ll be my passion project Dongho.” He’s not sure what to say because his best friend is treating him like a project which he’s sure is horrible - but he supposes Minhyun’s always been organized. Who is he to change who his best friend is at his core? “And also - the LMFAO stands for ‘ _Look! My Feels Are Out_ ’.”

Minhyun continues to giggle.

He continues to question what it is he’s getting into. “Can I make a decision on this when I’m sober?”

“What’s going to change over a night of sleep?”

“Because I don’t think making this decision when I’m drunk makes sense –“

“I’m your friend. I don’t think I’m going to take advantage of you – and if you want to say no. You can just say no.”

“Yeah, well I’m not sure I want to say no.” As the admittance slips from his mouth something does slip into his chest, an anxious feeling as the humor disappears from Minhyun’s face to be replaced with something akin to excitement. “I want to think about it like – there’s so much to consider. I don’t think we can just use friendship as a base, we need to establish a base level of chemistry and I’m not sure I have that with you.”

“Why?”

“No offense but – “ He’s not sure Minhyun’s going to feel as excited when he hears what he really wants to say – “I’ve never been sexually attracted to you and I hardly think that’s going to just – up and change in the flash of a conversation.”

“None taken, all reciprocated.” Minhyun’s hands wander off his face and into his hair, fingers twisted into his scalp and he narrows his eyes on his hands – he’s not entirely certain but it looks like – “Do you want to check?”

“Check?”

“Yeah, check if we work.” The horror enters his eyes again and Minhyun shakes his head and pulls his hands back to his sides. “Look, I can kiss you tomorrow if you’d like when you’re sober.” His eyes bug out of his head because how can Minhyun just – kiss him?! THERE HAS TO BE BUILD UP! “Maybe at lunch?”

“ABSOLUTELY NOT.” ALSO - he doesn’t need that sort of pressure! Lunch is for bitching and eating! Not making out!

Also, something about kissing Minhyun at work makes this all sound even more wrong in his head. “Okay…wanna do it here then?”

“Do what?” Seongwoo asks as he comes to sit across from him and at the look of disturbance he gets from both men, makes him back out of the booth for a second. “Wait a second – what did I miss?”

“Nothing! Nothing!” He’s adamant about it but his cheeks are flushed red, the tips of Minhyun’s ears are peeking pink and Seongwoo’s looking at both of them like he’s caught them red-handed.

“I KNOW!” Seongwoo snickers evilly, looking like an apparition of Sherlock Holmes as he flicks his eyes between the both of them like he’s solved their horrendous crime. “Minhyun, told you he wants the director job bad.”

“Oh relax, Seongwoo – let me get us all another round.” Minhyun only buys everyone a round when he’s looking to manipulate them. Seongwoo’s well aware of that but because his weakness for liquor at the moment is a little stronger than his weakness for knowledge so he lets Minhyun step out of the booth past him for this purpose. “Dongho, come lift the drinks with me?”

He looks between Seongwoo and Minhyun and wordlessly steps out of the booth, well aware of how Seongwoo’s looking at him like he’s asking for a confirmation of his hypothesis later. He doesn’t return the look because somehow that feels like he’d be betraying Minhyun’s trust in him.

And if he’s really going to try this – whatever it is – with him then betraying Minhyun’s trust seems like the wrong way to start whatever it is they’re looking to start. Just to keep his options open, he’ll keep Minhyun’s secret.

The walk to the bar is dreadfully quiet and he’s feeling sweat bundle up at the crease where his hair meets his neck.

A lot still feels unsaid.

“Four beers–“ Minhyun orders, smiling at the bartender who takes a double look at them and tries to hide how pleased she feels just by looking at Minhyun. “Please.” The polite intention with which this word was crafted into their language escapes the sentence. Minhyun’s utterance of the word ‘please’ is soft and low, passing through a shrouded tunnel of soundwaves to reach her ears and leave behind a shiver of expectation (and his ears are not saved from this assault on his senses, unfortunately).

“Sure thing.” The bartender whispers back, heading right over to the tap to quickly fulfill Minhyun’s first request in case he’s in the mood to ask a second soon.

That’s a little irritating.

Here he is keeping secrets for Minhyun and here’s Minhyun – going to bone this girl.

Why is he acting like a boyfriend if Minhyun won’t act like one?! That seems remarkably unfair. “You do know that we have a meeting tomorrow at 7 that you scheduled –“

“7:30 and it’s not like she’ll sleep over. I’ll tell her she needs to go and I’m sure she won’t mind if I –”

“Don’t end that sentence because I don’t want to know.” Minhyun turns to look at him shocked but really – what the hell is so shocking?

Sure, on a regular occasion, this would be perfectly fine. He’d even wingman!

But isn’t this too much whiplash? How can Minhyun propose they experiment having a relationship together if he isn’t going to be – faithful at all literally two seconds later?!

The intensity of his glare must be working because Minhyun turns back to look at him surprised “Okay, out with it – why is me going home with this girl pissing you off?”

Is Minhyun SHITTING HIM?! HE LITERALLY JUST SAID IT OUT LOUD! “Is that what it’s like? The experiment? Because then I’m not even the slightest bit interested – you know I didn’t rat you out to Seongwoo right now –“

“Well, I thought you were doing that as my friend – not my ‘boyfriend’. I’m sorry.” Minhyun uses the word ‘boyfriend’ like it’s some sarcastic word and something tells him, Minhyun is not sorry. Specifically it may be that Minhyun is full on clutching the sides of his stomach, laughing his ass off. What an ASSHOLE. “I thought you were ‘thinking’ about it.”

“I AM THINKING ABOUT IT!” Minhyun flinches at the volume of his voice which he gets. He knows he was a bit too loud but he’s – not able to really control that right now.

“Well then,” Minhyun clears his throat factually – no airs of seduction noted in his face as he looks at him like an actuary may look at risk. “I’m not yours just yet, am I?”

Minhyun may not be wrong but – something about all of this feels wrong anyways.

If Minhyun was really serious about this then how could he just turn around and sleep with someone else? Faithfulness is a huge part of the equation, at least for him. Without that, how is he supposed to trust Minhyun to – guide him through this? “I think I figured out my answer.”

“You did?”

“Yeah.” He clears his throat and steps back from Minhyun, just to keep his head clear. “I don’t want to be just – an experiment. I think that’s the problem.”

That wasn’t the answer Minhyun was expecting but he’s grateful. At least he’s managed to make the guy stop laughing. “No?”

“No, Minhyun – I’m not a fucking lab rat who’s offering up his heart to get dissected –”

Minhyun smirks. “If anything, I’m the one offering myself up to be your lab rat, Dongho but okay – what would you have us do?”

He chances a glance back at the bar where the bartender is diligently pouring away the third of their four large glasses of pale ale for them. He pulls his lips into his mouth, too acutely aware of how sands of time are passing them. “I’d – I’d need some sort of assurance that I’m not a fool for doing this.”

Something about this visibly frustrates Minhyun who steps forward, hands over his chest. “Dongho – that’s NOT the point of ‘love’ – “ Minhyun’s huffing and puffing, his carefully contained chest shifting up and down till he takes a moment to center himself. “Look, I can’t promise you that. That’s why it’s an experiment Dongho. No one falls in love expecting to be smart – there’s a reason they say that only foo-“

He’s not sure what makes him do it.

Maybe it’s the fact Minhyun’s talking too loud or maybe it’s the fact the fourth beer’s all done –

But before another stupid, irritating word finds its way out of Minhyun’s mouth, he covers it with his own.

He’s no expert at love but he knows at least he can hold his own here. Leaning closer forward, he lets his hands reach for Minhyun’s head, pulling it down closer to his so they’re dragged together like magnets.

It’s a little stupid because Minhyun’s lips are mid-sermon. Minhyun’s eyes are wide open and his eyes are tightly shut, mostly because the feeling of Minhyun’s words against his mouth are a little awkward.

Honestly, how upsetting this has all been.

He feels his shoulders shake from the sheer frustration he feels because – he’s not sure when he started feeling this nervous.

He supposes it’s not all that strange, the idea of kissing his best friend should be a little nerve wracking – and yet here is – doing it and not feeling any better about it as Minhyun begins to laugh against his mouth before pulling away.

Minhyun at least has the decency to ignore the fact that the kiss was more out of spite than anything else. “There. Now. We’ve done something that’s explicitly placed us in a territory that should have you refrain from – “

“BEERS!” The bartender chimes, a little too happily as she brandishes the debit machine in front of them.

“Thank you.” Minhyun bows his head politely with an air of professionalism that’s meant to serve as a response to his otherwise unsaid question as he pays for the beers. “Your head’s going to stay on your head then?”

“Why wouldn’t it?”

“I don’t know – seemed like it’d pop off with the force of your anger, honestly.”

“Let’s just get back to the booth .” He glares at Minhyun.

“Sure.” Minhyun returns it with a humored smile as he reaches for his receipt. “Just one last thing –“

This time Minhyun reaches for his wrist, pulls him towards a darkness he hadn’t noticed and leans down to press their lips back together.

It’s by no means an anger driven, force filled sort of embrace.

No this – resembles something more real, recognizable as a kiss.

Minhyun’s lips shift over his – and his lips know the dance well so they turn back; intent on refusing to be dominated after the disaster their last conversation had been.

How ridiculous.

He wants to avenge whatever the fuck that was by making Minhyun whimper into his mouth.

He finds his bottom lip being pulled into Minhyun’s teeth, a nibble against the inside of his mouth makes him feel like his insides are being blended painfully into some unrecognizable mixture and when Minhyun’s mouth lets go, he’s looking back at him. “So, what about now?”

“What about what?”

“Chemistry.” Minhyun answers matter of factly, eyelashes blinking like they hadn’t just been pressed into his cheeks moments before. “Do you feel it?”

Somehow admitting he felt anything at all feels like a loss – which is ridiculous because in the past he would have told Minhyun anything he asked of him.

He can’t let this thing get in the way of their friendship, though.

Their friendship is supposed to be the base of whatever else they choose to make so – he decides to say the truth. “I felt like my insides were being mushed into a blender.”

Minhyun’s eyes widen in shock before his face crumbles into the most awkward smile he’s ever seen. “We can work on that…unless you liked it.”

He doesn’t have to answer that question. “Can – we please leave future rounds for – when I’m more coherent?”

Minhyun’s head is angled, breathing right over his lips and leaving a sheen of moisture and he catches the sight of Minhyun’s tongue lavishing attention over his own bottom lip and he can’t help but feel that pain twist inside of him again.

And then just like that, Minhyun’s laughing again – but this time he leans forward to press a kiss into his forehead. “Sure, babe.”

He feels himself dry heave.

They can discuss endearments tomorrow too.

Dear god, what is he getting himself into.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for the encouragement on the first chapter when it was Anon :)! Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!
> 
> some previews:  
>  __  
> “Look, I came because I didn’t want to leave you hanging – but I don’t think what you’re proposing is such a good idea. We’re – we’re bros. And let’s be honest, beyond friendship, I don’t think there’s anything there that clicks –”
> 
> _"I don’t know about that. Felt like something clicked against my pants last night.”_
> 
> _He is very thankful his ice cold coffee is still in his hand and not in his mouth because otherwise it would have FLOWN THE FUCK OUT OF HIS MOUTH. “This is exactly – what I mean. You’re not taking this seriously, I don’t really want to – entertain this because I’m – obviously not thinking straight.”_
> 
> _“You don’t say!”_


	3. It's Raining Men

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is dedicated to the song 'It's Raining Men' by Geri Halliwell - because it is the inspiration for this story as well. (A-Men)

When the light from the early morning sun casts over his face, Kang Dongho decides to say ‘fuck it’ to the world trying to wake him up and shoves his face back into the plush pillow.

Unfortunately, that leaves the sun stranded and him all alone with his mind active in that strange path between consciousness and semi-consciousness – you know – the one where your mind teases you with things that you’re trying to put out of memory, but just won’t go?

Like the fact his pillow now feels searingly hot against his face, like a palm pressed too close for too long and or like humored eyes, the shape of which feel mystifyingly symmetrical –

He jolts out of bed, eyes shot towards the alarm clock.

It’s 6:30AM. On a normal day, this would mean he can go back to bed and there’s nothing he wants more –

But that piece of shit he calls a friend (who’s trying to sleep with him?) scheduled a meeting at the unholy time of 7:30AM which means he has just enough time if he gets up now to get himself together before heading to the office.

Almost instantly, his head starts throbbing.

He drank last night so his stupidity can be washed away under that universal excuse of ‘ _I was drunk – I wasn’t thinking!’_

But what’s Minhyun’s excuse? What is that crazy fucker up to and why did he put this idea out into their perfect-as-is universe?

He reaches over for a few clean undergarments, throws a towel over his shoulder and makes his way into the bathroom; thankful for the warmth and pressure of the water that’s easing the tensed knots in his back. It appears his body is angry with him for waking up this early.

The steam from the shower may be fogging up the air around him but it’s allowing him to lose the haze of hangover that’s hanging over his brain.

The reality is that he’s fragile right now. One push the wrong way and he’ll end up in pieces – especially because Minhyun just isn’t anyone else to him.

Getting into an experimental relationship with his best friend to accomplish feeling something he’s not sure he’s ever felt or has the capability to feel?

That sounds ridiculous.

Not to mention unlikely. If their friendship was always meant to turn into something more, wouldn’t it have happened already?

He turns the water off and dries his hair with the back of his toweled hand before stepping before the mirror to analyze and criticize the reflection staring back at him.

The frown on his face is now a permanent fixture. It’s even forcing it’s way up to his wet hair, curling it in the same ugly crescentic shape. 

He should blow dry his hair into some semblance of looking better...but he’d rather get away with gelling it. Sure, he’ll look like shit but who is he trying to look good for, anyways?

He goes to the kitchen and pops in two slices of bread into the toaster and the time it takes to get to golden brown gives him more opportunity to contemplate his next move.

The clock on the stove reads 6:50AM.

With the benefit of twenty minutes behind him, the idea of not showing up to Minhyun’s little meeting is starting to look like a viable option.

He can easily pretend that he doesn’t remember a thing from last night, least of all a meeting scheduled so late. In fact, he doesn’t even have to acknowledge that. He can just show up to work at 9AM, like he always does, and maybe, if he’s lucky, Minhyun will get the hint that he doesn’t remember anything.

With memory not on his side, maybe Minhyun will lose nerve too and let this shit go.

The toast jolts up, as if to voice it’s objection in the court of this kitchen and he frowns at it, lathering his butter with a little more force than required before biting into it and looking back at the time again.

6:52AM.

The smart thing to do is walk into work on time and pretend like nothing’s up.

That plan would be perfect, save for one key flaw.

He kissed Minhyun first.

Try as he may to rationalize that, neither steam nor toast appears to want to help him unravel what that means. He has maybe eight minutes left on the thinking clock if he does decide he wants to talk to Minhyun about what happened last night.

The one thing he is certain of is that his push to kiss Minhyun didn’t come from desire. Minhyun may be handsome and that undeniable sort of attractive that makes you want to fling yourself at him – but years later he’s quite past all that. Minhyun farts in pools, and rolls his eyes at their superiors only to kiss their ass two seconds later –

Not that there’s anything wrong with those actions. He’s just never opened himself up to that possibility and Minhyun hasn’t been available 'that way' ever so -

Well, in all honesty, it’s not like Minhyun’s offering him that opportunity now, either. Minhyun’s no more available than he was before last night.

What Minhyun’s proposing is different. It’s the gift of accessibility, if he so chooses to take it.

Which brings him back to himself.

Why did he kiss him first?

Like all minds going through a break up, his sadistic brain decides to bring back that image of Hwang Minhyun’s face so zoomed in that he can’t see anything but wide brown eyes staring into his -

He’s ready to shake his head to get it out but- the memory morphs.

Twisting colours to attack his senses, sight turning to touch, breath turning to the sound of something being unbuttoned in a furious scattered effort to –

Whoa.

That is not what happened last night and he needs to slow the fuck down.

At least, he’s established that he doesn’t hate the idea of Minhyun like that. He doesn’t need to share that with Minhyun though. That would be like going over and handing all his dignity in a bomb in Minhyun’s hands and asking his best friend to blow them both up.

He catches sight of how red his face is in the mirror hanging by the doorway, groans as he locks his door and sets off on his quick walk to the office.

He’s really doing ‘this’. He’s really going to – entertain whatever it is ‘this’ will turn into after this meeting. He enters the elevator, which is thankfully empty, save for that housewife who likes to take early morning runs.

Maybe he’s not going to have to worry about this. Maybe Minhyun won’t show up because if he debated not doing that then Minhyun would have felt somewhat similarly, right?

The walk to the office passes quickly because that’s the whole reason he lives where he lives. On his way in, he sees the café in the lobby of their building is just starting to open up.

Despite the fact that he had breakfast, something about the meeting he’s walking into makes him feel like he’ll be less vulnerable if he enters with food.

Five minutes later, he’s walking out to the elevators with two bagels and two iced coffees. One plain bagel schmeared with light cream cheese (Minhyun’s) and one everything bagel with everything the café had in stock (which mostly meant copious amounts of eggs and bacon with a side of an avocado spread).

Now sufficiently bogged down, he glances down at the time on his watch. 7:25AM. Showing up five minutes early? Minhyun should be proud.

He walks towards the meeting room Minhyun had scheduled their meeting in, unsurprised to find Minhyun glued to his computer screen like he hadn’t just spent all of last night at the bar. There’s something comforting about the sight because it means his friend’s behaviour hasn’t changed at all despite the fact he mauled him yesterday.

If one of them has to be normal about this, then it’s better that that’s Minhyun because he’s a fish out of water. Plus, the whole bloody thing is Minhyun’s idea anyways and he’s just the one humouring it. 

“You actually showed up? Wow. Look at you, Kang Dongho! So ready to work on yourself!”

A frown covers his neutral expression.

He grunts from the door in the hopes that if he’s audible about how he’s feeling then perhaps Minhyun, who has yet to look away from his laptop screen, may be able to tell just how upset that greeting made him.

So, is that how Minhyun sees what they shared last night? As some kind of fucked up joke?

That’s not worth entertaining. That’s not even worth forgiving.

Seongwoo’s right. Hwang Minhyun is an asshole when he wants to be and this one instant? It’s enough to undo all of the tentative surety with which he came to this precipice.

He marches over to the other side of the boardroom table, slapping Minhyun’s bagel down before pulling a coffee out of the two cup tray and sliding it to him.

He’s also doing all of this extremely loudly so Minhyun has no choice but to look at him but as soon as their eyes connect, he barges out of the room.

If he stayed, he’d end up speaking.

If he spoke, he’d end up losing moral ground over Minhyun because he’s about ready to throw a large string of curse words in the form of a verbal slap –

Unfortunately, he’s also aware of how Minhyun’s bolted out of his chair, falling over his long legs in an attempt to chase him down. “What’s got you in a bad mood this morning?”

He turns to look at him. Incredulous. Minhyun’s head is stuffed up his own ass and that’s quite the marvel because Minhyun’s head is huge.

“Stop looking at me like that! What’d I do? I didn’t have sex with someone last night thanks to you! You know instead of having your boxers all wadded up, you could be a little grateful –”

“Oh, why don’t you go fuck yourself, you piece of shit -”

“Been there…no thanks to you.” The rest of Minhyun’s words trail off as he feels the tips of his ears burn hot in conjunction with the image procured by the end of that sentence. “Oh, big shit – like you didn’t do the same thing in the morning. Relax! This is supposed to be good clean fun, Dongho!”

He actually didn’t get a chance this morning because he’d been so stressed about everything. Yeah. So much clean fun. They’re talking about their morning routines? SERIOUSLY?

They’re going to have beat Disney off with a stick for the movie rights to this disaster. “Look, Minhyun-ah. I came because I didn’t want to leave you hanging – but I don’t think what you’re proposing is such a good idea. We’re – we’re bros. And let’s be honest, beyond friendship, I don’t think there’s anything there that actually instantly clicks –”

“I don’t know about that.” Minhyun shakes his head like he’s told him cake is a figment of his imagination. “Felt like I felt something click against me, last night.”

He is very thankful his ice cold coffee is still in his hand and not in his mouth because otherwise it would have FLOWN THE FUCK OUT OF HIS MOUTH. “This is exactly – what I mean. You’re not taking this seriously. I don’t really want to entertain this because I’m – obviously not thinking straight.”

Minhyun’s jaw drops – good he’s finally gotten through to him – “You don’t say! I mean – it’d be hard for us to do this straight mode you know –“

What the – “Shut. UP! I really don’t want to – I don’t think I want to do this with you. No offense but I don’t think I’m capable of loving you.” There’s an edge to his words that was meant to come out with panic but belatedly he becomes aware of just how sharp it sounds. It's sliced right through Minhyun’s smile, breaking his face in half.

He can’t take it back though. Just because it’s hurtful that doesn’t mean it’s not true.

“Pity. I was enjoying this whole – thing.” Minhyun shows off the bagel and tears into the wax paper wrapper.

He can’t help but like the way the smile on Minhyun’s face stitches back together with the sound of every rip.

He feels like he’s being rewarded with a glimpse of his not-so-shit friend after the sheer ridiculousness that the past few hours have been for them.

Still, that’s not enough to stick around and get made fun of. He rolls his eyes and makes a move to walk ahead of Minhyun. His destination is their joint desk so he can set down his laptop bag but this doesn’t provide him with an escape since Minhyun continues to eat alongside him, making no attempt to cajole him into changing his mind.

Not that – you know – he wants him to. It’s just what he’s expecting because what Hwang Minhyun wants, Hwang Minhyun gets. He has to keep his guard up because it wouldn't be the first time Minhyun conned him into - “Are you following me?”

“Of course, I am.” Minhyun furrows his eyebrows as if this is obvious. Why would this be obvious? “We have a meeting right now. What else would I do except accompany you, fine sir, to wherever it is you’re going?” Minhyun’s impression of the English accent is enough to have him scoff and turn back to his desk destined march.

He’s not going to address ‘that’ with a response but thankfully, he’s been friends with Minhyun long enough that he knows how to get the guy’s mind off – dating him. 

What has their world come to?

“What were you working on so intently that you didn’t see me come in?”

For a second, Minhyun’s eyes light up and his mouth opens to explain, until he squints at the shy smirk on his face. “Oh, Dongho. Are you really trying to fool me? You can’t just walk away from me that easily –” The connotation of this accompanied by the remaining vestiges of the fantasy conjured in his kitchen leaves him more sweaty than he would have liked this soon after a shower. "Come on, I know you, dumbass. If you weren’t seriously considering this – you’d have just showed up at nine and pretended none of last night happened.”

Why does this person know him SO well? THIS IS NOT A FAIR FIGHT. Not that it’s supposed to be a fight. Or fair for that matter.

All’s fair in love and war and this is going to be both!

He’s going to end up retching on himself.

“I –“ His chin tilts down so he can look at Minhyun with a little more intimidation on his face, as if that’s going to get him any sort of equal footing in this discussion where he’s paused too long before continuing his sentence – “I wanted to know my options.”

Minhyun nods, so enamored with his boring bagel that he didn’t spot the nervous pause in the conversation. “Sure, sure. If you’d have let me walk through the pitch before barging out of the room –“

Wait.

Wait. What? “The ‘pitch’?”

“Yeah.” Minhyun looks at him like he’s a slacker...which compared to the human robot before him, he probably is. “I put some stuff together last night, when I came home.”

“I know for a fact you got home at midnight because you texted the group with a 'Home!' smiley face emoji at like 2 - did you even sleep?”

“Don’t be funny, Dongho! Of course, I slept the required forty five minutes.” He looks at him shell shocked. “That’s a joke! I slept like four hours or something don’t stress… I just used the template from my business review deck.”

“You…made a PowerPoint?”

“I always make a PowerPoint – and a Gantt chart! That’s the only way to successfully kick off projects. Come on Dongho, has it been that long since you saw quality work? You don't make Jihoon grind hard enough."

This is why is so EXCITED to be this guy’s boyfriend! (not).

“I – and this has nothing to do with the fact that we may – attempt to become romantically entangled in the coming moments –“ Minhyun turns to look at him appalled with a scoff, every fibre in his being taking offense to his words. “But you really need to take a break, man.”

“And I will –“ Minhyun stresses, one hand landing on his shoulder. It’s not that strange a motion. Minhyun’s a bit touchy when he’s tired, probably to stop himself from falling on the floor in exhaustion but, with the context of everything they’re discussing nothing Minhyun does to him feels the same as it did yesterday. Everything comes with a sharpened scrape of irritating and strange. “That’s what you’ll be. My break. The human personification of a KitKat. So, come on, what do you say?”

“I – say that I will hear your pitch because I want to steal the template and have been meaning to for quite some time.”

“There you go, tiger!” He growls at the use of that old ass nickname Minhyun used to tease him with. How would he feel if he started bringing BIG HEAD back?! He’s a better person than Minhyun though, so all he does is take a large bite of his own bagel and does his best to be sufficiently unattractive while attempting to lick the bacon juice off his chin. There’s a touch of amusement colouring Minhyun’s eyes as he guides them back to the meeting room. “Now come on, I don’t need anyone else coming in early and seeing that my laptop is left unguarded in a meeting room with a deck on how I plan to make our dear Dongho feel love –“

“You should really be too busy for this –“

“Yeah, I should.” Minhyun admits. “But you take opportunities as they present themselves, and who knows I might learn something from you too?” He looks at him confused so Minhyun clears his throat. “What I’m trying to say is, that Dongho - the humidity’s rising and according to all sources, the boardroom’s the place to go because today morning for the first time,” Why is Minhyun sounding like he’s about to start singing – “Just about half past 7, for the first time in history – it’s about to start raining MEN – HALLE-“

He claps a hand over Minhyun’s cackling mouth. Minhyun appears to have lost his mind so he does his best to look into the offices they run by to make sure no one else has seen Minhyun’s brain turn to mush.

Eventually, they’re back in the room so he drops his hand but – “IT’S RAINING MEN – A ME-“

He runs to shut the door, lock it at the top and turn back to look at Minhyun very annoyed. “What is your problem? Why are you bringing Ginger Spice into this?”

When they first met, they’d bonded over equal admiration and hots for the Spice Girls – but this is not the time to bring them up! “Her name is Geri Halliwell as you well know – and that was her solo song and honestly, don’t we need a opening song to get us in the mood? Like the songs they have at the start of a Korean Drama OST?”

“And what mood would that be?”

“The mood to engage in a ‘partnership’ with one of your best friends –“

He coughs, trying his absolute best not to laugh because Minhyun can’t seriously want an OST for their relationship. What a fucking loser – “I’m thinking I need to evaluate what that term 'best' should really be applied to if we’re using it so liberally –“

“You’re right.” Minhyun swings into his chair, making it spin around like a top on it’s way to forging it’s own path to chaos. “It shouldn’t be 'best' it should be 'boy' –“

“Huh?” He can’t really listen because looking at Minhyun spin over and over again is making him a bit dizzy.

“BOY – Friends? Get it? As in – that may be what I become at the end of this meeting?”

Yeah. Maybe not his heart (yet) but his head is definitely starting to feel whiplash. “Then why are you adding the ‘s’? It’s not like I'm going to have multiple boyfriends.”

“CONFIDENCE DONGHO! You could have plural! Some day!”

He sits himself in the boardroom chair beside Minhyun but not because he’s agreeing to this bullshit. It’s just the easiest way he can start smacking his head against the table repeatedly with the sound of Minhyun’s snickers worming their way through his ear canal like some kind of sick rhythm to match the assault of his head.

He’s not sure how he ended up back here in this room – but he’s here and there’s little else to do so he slumps his head up, chin against the wood. Minhyun swings right out of the chair and walks over to the T.V. screen, remote in his hand to auto click through the slides.

Despite how ridiculous he’d been seconds ago, there’s an air of professionalism that sets into Minhyun as he settles into his post – it’s intimidating and admirable as it is every time he watches Minhyun present.

He can comfortably say that he just never thought he’d be the topic of one of Minhyun’s projects.

The first slide isn’t a title slide – in fact, Minhyun’s totally skipped that which is uncharacteristic of him.

No, the first slide is a ‘background’ slide…which he’s sufficiently traumatized with because Minhyun’s put up a picture of him with his face in disarray as he flew through the wind on a zipline at their last company getaway. “So, to set up this project, I’d like to introduce you, our key stakeholder, to the two participants in our experiment –“

“Minhyun – we know each other and I can’t be both project and key stakeholder –“

“Patience Dongho – you may learn something new yet.” About himself? Doubtful. Minhyun smiles at him and he sighs, rolling his head back into his arms and relenting to hearing about his own life story. “Kang Dongho, born July 21, 1995 in Jeju-si South Korea at the Chongang Hospital.” That research maniac really found out where he was born?! “Graduated with Honors from Yonsei University with a Bachelor’s of Commerce degree that he earned quite on accident - but showing a natural aptitude for being charming and strong and sexy –“ Whoa there – what – does Minhyun think he graduated because of his looks – what the – “Managed to worm his way into one of the most renowned old school training programs in Korea managed by a global firm.”

Another thinly veiled insult. How is any of this supposed to make him fall in love with Minhyun?

Then again, he supposes it’s not. There’s a reason he hasn’t fallen in love with him yet. “You think I got in to the leadership training program because I’m sexy?”

“I think you got in because you were strong and sexy – but let’s not lose focus.” Minhyun clicks through the next slide…which thankfully happens to be his background and of course, Hwang Minhyun is in a pool. He looks way better than his zip line photo, Minhyun’s only flaw is that he looks a little bald with that really bad choice of swimming cap on his head. “Hwang Minhyun, made it to the Olympics as a part of the National Swim team and then injured his leg.” He knew that. Minhyun still loved swimming of course, but he called that accident his saving grace. When he’d first asked him why – Minhyun just laughed and shrugged it off like the weirdo he is but after a while he figured it out. He has a feeling almost Olympian Hwang Minhyun didn’t love swimming as much as he loved winning. “After the injury, Minhyun –“

“You’re referring to yourself in the third person –“

“As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted again – post-injury Hwang Minhyun spent the rest of his time working with corporate partners who partnered with the Olympic hopefuls who didn’t medal. There he ended up graduating from Seoul University as valedictorian of the bachelor of commerce program and joining the company through his internal connections as he’d interned here as a student.”

“Right, ‘internal connections’.” The inflection on his words with air quotes does not escape Minhyun’s notice but he does smile politely knowing Dongho won’t say anymore because over the years they’ve both proven they deserve to be here. ' _Strong and sexy_ ' and ' _internal connections_ '.

He shoves his head back into his arms. This can’t possibly get any worse.

Minhyun’s not even getting to the point.

That’s always been Minhyun’s problem. He loves the minute, useless details so much that he forgets the big picture stuff – “The problem that these two candidates will now look to solve? Kang Dongho has never been in love.”

His neck snaps up and sure enough, there it is on Minhyun’s third slide. Ugly, stark, Times New Roman letters the size of Minyun’s ginormous head. A confirmation that Hwang Minhyun had not the time nor care to format the horrible truth of his life.

He’s not sure what it is…but there is something about seeing it larger than life and on this horribly dull blank canvas that makes him feel that much more – “The purpose of this project is to incite said feelings from Kang Dongho.”

Broken.

“Feelings will be developed within a controlled setting.”

How pathetic.

Broken. That’s all he’s managed to feel right now.

It’s not a very pretty feeling.

“Using pre-aligned measures by the experiment stakeholders to confirm whether or not Kang Dongho is indeed capable of falling in love –“

And the more Minhyun talks, the more he wants to look for any way possible to shut this down – and because a gun seems to not be an option, the only way he can stop Minhyun by saying anything that makes him feel worse is – “Yes, and that all hinges on you doesn’t it?”

Minhyun hates being interrupted. It’s one of the many never-ending quirks he’s come to learn to live with – and he knows what he’s doing when he sees Minhyun’s left brow twitch. “What?”

“It hinges on you. You’re the catalyst. You’re my variable. You determine the success of this project – it all rests on your shoulders.” He’s doing little to keep the bite out of his mouth but Minhyun doesn’t look the slightest bit slighted. As if he’d been expecting some sort of battle. “What?”

“Every experiment has variables and pitfalls and – risks and possible outcomes but my hypothesis is that my best friend is most definitely capable of love. I’m not the catalyst or the variable here, Dongho. I’m not the special one. You are. In fact, my personal bias is that you’re capable of a love so great that I’m sure your heart’s just protecting you from yourself.”

“So, it’s my fault I can't love someone?”

“I didn’t mean it that way.” Minhyun shakes his head, a tiny note of frustration worming its way into his voice when he clears his throat to try and speak calmly. “What I meant was that I think you hold yourself back from getting that big baby of a heart of yours hurt by someone who truly has the right to break it.”

Funny isn’t it? Should he let Minhyun know he has the capability to make him feel broken even without all that love stuff in the mix? 

Probably not. “That’s a convenient explanation.”

“Agreed.” Minhyun nods. “Ideally, the experiment would have you engage with multiple participants, we could run a series of tests with different prospect targets – but that’s kind of real life and so far that hasn’t worked out so well for you. So for now, I'll be your only variable.”

Ouch. “So, you think me spending lots of time with you will magically make us love each other?”

“No, of course not. It’s not like it’s happened yet for you – unless you have something to share with me?” He scoffs and flips him the middle finger which is all the reassurance Minhyun needs to continue speaking with a smug smile on his face. “I’m going to work very hard at – well – trying to make you love me.” Is Minhyun aware of just how absurd he sounds with every passing sentence? Or is he just stupid? “Look, if we’re going to do this and try and get to this seemingly unattainable goal in a short period of time –“

“A short period of time?”

“Yeah, of course.” Minhyun laughs like he didn’t expect that question either…but of course it’s obvious. So, now not only is his capability to love possibly constrained to one person but a particular duration. That’s going to go so great! “As much as I’d love to do it forever, we’ll conduct this in a controlled environment in a short period of time to ensure we can both walk away – no harm, no foul.”

No harm, no foul, huh? “Why are you the right person for this experiment again?”

“We’re already close…and we’re friends.”

“Right and – what makes you so qualified when I haven’t been able to fall in love with you so far?”

“Because you’re going to try this time, Dongho.” Minhyun’s words are stated like fact, absent of warmth and yet somehow warm is exactly what it is he’s feeling on the back of his neck as Minhyun clicks through the balance of the slides to find one in particular. “The reason I’m uniquely suited to this task is because I’m not just your friend. We talked about this last night but – I guess you were drunk so I’ll reiterate myself. Jesus, you're lucky I made an appendix. Okay, here’s the slide! The basis of our relationship is fluid – we can manipulate it.” Or destroy it in the process, but Minhyun probably doesn’t want to hear that. “We can explore the traditional relationship because we established last night that the two of us are physically attracted to each other – “

OH-KAY – where?! When did he say that?! “I don’t know about you but I didn’t pop a boner or anything – we kissed. Big deal.”

“You’re also not 13 – I hope you’re not popping boners every single time you kiss someone. Don’t you growl at me – you know I’m right!” Fair’s fair but that doesn’t mean he has to like it! “Besides, this isn’t about the boner in your pants, Dongho. It’s about the boner in your heart.”

The – boner – in his -

WHAT?!

This – this can’t be a thing someone who is a real person says! “Minhyun. Listen, here. Cut this crap because I threw up a little – just right there because of you.”

“Right where –“

“Where do you think? In my damned mouth –“

“Okay,” Minhyun furrows his eyebrows, thoroughly too confused for someone who’s supposed to be the smartest person in their office. “But then why’d you have to point out where you threw up? Everyone throws up in their mouth. Now if you threw up in your ears or something - that's something for the internet -"

“Are you going to be a pain for the whole – duration of this?” Despite the fact he’s being petulant and throwing a bit of a tantrum about this, Minhyun looks on, fond, like he’s watching an oompa loompa burn himself into the ground.

“I don’t think I’m being a pain – I think you’re just seeing me that way.” Sufficiently amused, Minhyun moves away from the screen to cross over to his side of the table and sit down right beside him.

Much like everything else, this isn’t a strange action by itself. They’ve sat beside each other every day for years. They save each other seats in company-wide town halls, ensure there’s always a chair around for the other at lunch even if the other’s said they won’t make it and have –

Well, they’ve always had each other’s backs.

This is just a different way for Minhyun to have his back. “Can’t we just get to the point already?”

“Fine, I won’t prolong the torture anymore – here’s what I propose for the actual relationship.”

Minhyun flicks his hand back without so much as a glance back at the screen and the slide shifts.

There it is. Laid out in a perfect Gantt chart and overly detailed. Categories of activities, exercises and milestones are carefully documented. Everything from their first kiss (which is already marked as bright green ‘complete!’) to –

When he says I love you.

(And everything that could happen in between).

He glances back at Minhyun alarmed, but relaxes a little noticing the duration. “Forty days? You can’t – you can’t possibly expect us to get this all done in forty days.”

Minhyun lays the hand with the remote over his heart. “I don’t. Nothing on this chart is just meant to be done Dongho. No project goes perfectly and I hardly think we’re going to ace this one just because it’s the two of us working on it.” Honestly, he’s just a little impressed that Minhyun’s managed to hammer this out in one night on four hours of sleep. “I guess, at the end of the day – this is just the ideal vision of what I’d like to experience with you while we’re doing this. If you’re open to it, of course."

His eyes scan away from the screen to Minhyun’s expression – hopeful, pliant, yielding. There is something there that does manage to make his – (god he hates using this word) heart boner – jump a bit. “What’s the project name?”

“Huh?”

“You didn’t have a title slide – or a project name.” He clears his throat. “Every confidential project at this company needs a code name and this one has to be super confidential so – we’re going to need to be able to refer to it in public sometimes with a code name.”

A smile plants itself on the corners of Minhyun’s mouth, blossoming it into an expression that does make him feel – for just a second – like he’s doing the right thing. “You really didn't like LMFAO so I though we'd leave it blank for now. Heart Boner might be nice?”

And there goes that feeling.

It’s surprising what a turn off the phrase ‘Heart Boner’ is.

Thankfully, he hasn’t agreed to anything yet. So he smacks his friend against his arm, earning a yowl of laughter. “Can you imagine that on the Project call?”

“Yeah – sure.” Minhyun sniffles, looking upwards to blink away his laughs. “This week on Project Boner, we’ll go to the park – “

“Sure sure, but a cool park – like an amusement park –“

He meant it as a half joke but Minhyun’s taken his words to mean he’s thinking of actually playing along and it causes the softest of smiles on his friend’s face. The kind he likes seeing on there and likes even more that he’s responsible for. “Right, amusement park of course –“ Minhyun clears his throat, voice dropping several octaves. “And then they proceeded to ride every ride –“

He coughs. 

The shit Minhyun can twist with the mere evocation of syllables on his tongue said just the right way. “Right like the classic – Ferris Wheel – “ The most unsexy ride he could think of to twist that sentence back to normalcy.

Unfortunately, Minhyun's memorized the sound of his voice at all levels of embarrassment and if that Machiavellian smile is any indication, he’s not letting this go without making sure he completes his Pokemon transformation from a human to the reddest tomato on planet Earth. “Maybe when we’re up there with the night sky and cuddled up – you’ll get a – HEART BO-“

“SUNBAENIM!” Both of them leap off each other and Minhyun transforms instead. The goofball Minhyun he knows so well is discarded in the wind as the more stoic professional version of Minhyun remembers to change the slide so that Park Jihoon doesn’t have to see the milestone for ‘ _First time we hold hands_ ’. “You guys are here early! What are you guys even doing together?”

He turns to look at Minhyun, panic spelled in his eyes because Minhyun had been waxing poetic about kissing him in a Ferris Wheel. “Just top secret stuff, Jihoon. I promise I’ll loop you in when the-“ He whacks Minhyun’s chest with his hand because they most certainly will not be ‘looping’ Jihoon in. “Sorry, Jihoon – it looks like Dongho just wants me all to himself. Some – guys are just really possessive.”

“Huh?” Jihoon, although a great assistant, is not yet well versed in Minhyun-level-bullshit.

“Atta boy – let’s get you back to your desk!” Minhyun leaps up from his seat to go over to Park Jihoon and press himself into the younger boy’s side to shove him half out of the room he invited himself into.

He coughs and Minhyun has the decency to turn back and look at him. “We – we didn’t finish our discussion?”

“Is there anymore to discuss?” The amusement in Minhyun’s voice starts dripping away, all too aware of the role he’s expected to play over the next few hours.

“I guess…not. We can discuss Project –“ Heart Boner. Heart Boner is such a dead giveaway though - “Raining Men at the next meeting?”

Minhyun chokes with just enough of his strength lost that Park Jihoon is able to wrestle his way out of Minhyun’s hold. “That’s the name of your top secret project?!”

“Yeah, well – “Minhyun stalls, still not quite sure what that name means. “No one said Dongho was good at coming up with inventive project names, Jihoon-ah. I had a great name – but he shot that down.” Minhyun glances back at him, twinkle back in his eye which he’s surprised to find himself feeling relieved over. “Isn’t that right Kang Dongho-nim?”

He lifts one finger in the air.

It's the middle one. If it’s Minhyun – it’s always the middle one.

Minhyun bursts out laughing and blows him a kiss which leaves him flushed and Park Jihoon flustered as to why it is his two superiors are – quite literally telling each other to fuck off in their own demented ways.

This is really the worst idea either of them have had.

And yet there it is.

That little electric charged jump he’s feeling right in his chest that just repeats and repeats, faster and faster and faster at the thought of what comes next till he realizes –

A heart boner is just a heartbeat.

Over and over, erratic and enigmatic till rhythm becomes feeling.

And perhaps more astonishingly, Minhyun may have been right about this all along.

Maybe this is going to be easier with his best friend because Hwang Minhyun, literal piece of shit, has just made his heart beat like it's singing a song.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is not humanly possibly for one Lilli to write one Dongho character without the obligatory music related metaphors sprinkled into the story. It's just not.
> 
> PS - HAPPY NEW YEAR!~!!!!!!!

**Author's Note:**

> I've been toying with Baekmin in my head for a very long time and so honestly, I'm just happy I finally got to try writing them out :)! Hope you guys enjoyed it!


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